


Im-paws-ible

by cosmicoyote



Series: Marichat May 2020 One-Shots [5]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Marichat May 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:41:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24048358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicoyote/pseuds/cosmicoyote
Summary: Prompt Five: Dare~***~Suddenly, she smirked. "I bet you can't even help it."He huffed. "I wouldn't go thatfur," he mumbled. Then he winced. Even he admitted that one was reaching.She crossed her arms. "Alright. It's a bet."Chat blinked at her. What the heck was she talking about?"I dare you to go an entire week without making a single pun."~***~Chat's POV for a nice switch up. :3
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Series: Marichat May 2020 One-Shots [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1728427
Comments: 2
Kudos: 95





	Im-paws-ible

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone for your overwhelming response to my previous one-shot. It got over 400 hits in less than 24 hours, and that is HUGE for me! You guys are the best! ♥

"I don't know why you hate puns so much, _Purr_ -incess," Chat grumbled as he munched on his fifth chocolate croissant in under an hour. He was lounging on her couch as she fixed a loose thread in the hat she had made him a few weeks prier. It was a neon green that matched the color of the paw pads on his ring with two holes to accommodate his leather cat ears. There was a trail of little kitty paw prints that circled the hem, and he found the accessory adorable and well-made.

However, talented or not, he still could not understand why one of his closest friends found puns lame at best and annoying at worst.

When Marinette sighed, her fingers expertly threading her needle to repair a small hole he had caused with one of his claws, he caught her rolling her eyes. "I just don't find them that funny, Chat."

He choked on the last bite of croissant which he struggled to gulp, but he luckily had a glass of milk to wash it down. Once his airway was clear, he spluttered and sat up to stare at her. "But, that's just ridiculous! Puns are my trademark! They make my suave _purr_ -sonality _paws-_ itively lovely."

She groaned, and he fought a snicker. She was fun to mess with. Her death glares could rival Ladybug's at times, but he noticed Marinette softened quicker than his superhero partner.

The up-and-coming designer huffed as she finished repairing his beanie hat and tossed it to him. He caught it with his enhanced reflexes and put it carefully back on his head before crouching on the chaise like his miraculous namesake. His tail twitched playfully as she put her sewing needles and thread away and spun to give him an amused smirk.

"Dorky cat," she teased as she stretched. "I think you should be getting on home. It's almost ten."

" _Purr_ -haps you want me to _whisker_ away with my hat?" Chat leered as she gave him a deadpan look.

"Yes, please," Marinette murmured, making a shooing motion with her hands as she stifled a yawn.

He chewed his lip as she stood up, contemplating... 

Eh, he couldn't resist.

"You mean _paw-_ lease?" he asked, head tilting.

She stiffened, and now she was starting to get a scowl. He blinked and pulled out his secret weapon: kitten eyes. He locked eyes with her and wiggled, knowing he looked adorable, especially with his beanie on.

Marinette sighed, and he watched her previously annoyed posture melt. He was rewarded with a soft scratch behind his ears which he took with great eagerness. He had shrugged off the awkwardness quickly when he had had a violent itch he couldn't seem to satisfy and Marinette had scratched it for him. He had been red in the face and highly apologetic, but Marinette had said it was cute and that if he got that bad again, he should just ask Ladybug. Shortly after, Ladybug had graced him with chin tickles, neck rubs, and head scratches that had him melting into puddy in her hands. He never told Ladybug, but he preferred Marinette's nails over the heroine's gloved hands. He liked this physical contact since he was so lacking it in his civilian form.

So, naturally, he was dazed from her touch, and it took him a moment to realize she had been trying to get his attention for the last few moments.

"Kitty?"

"Hmm?" The purr in his throat garbled his voice.

She stopped petting him, and he opened his eyes to pout at her.

Marinette smirked, and he blushed as he huddled his shoulders up to his ears in embarrassment. "Sorry." He cleared his throat and tried to focus on her. "Um, what were mew saying?"

She rolled her eyes playfully. "I was saying I don't think you could go five minutes without punning."

He shrugged. "Like I said: they're _paw_ -art of my _claw_ -some personality." He smiled innocently.

She met scowled and met his eyes with her signature Marinette stubbornness. He hoped she would drop it, wish him goodnight, then ruffle his hair. That's usually how they parted if he had punned too much for her tolerance.

Except... that's not what she did. Marinette had a steely glint in her eyes he knew from their video game tournaments when he challenged her. She was so cute when she was competitive...

Suddenly, she smirked. "I bet you can't even help it."

He huffed. "I wouldn't go that _fur_ ," he mumbled. Then he winced. Even he admitted that one was reaching.

She crossed her arms. "Alright. It's a bet."

Chat blinked at her. What the heck was she talking about?

"I dare you to go an entire week without making a single pun."

His jaw might as well of hit the floor. He stared at her with huge eyes and with his tail straight in the air. The mere thought made his hair stand on end!

"B-But, Princess!" he protested. He could get as competitive as her. 

Heck, once Ladybug had dared him to do backflips across the rooftops of Paris just because he was boasting about being as agile as a real cat. The result was him crashing face-first into a pile of discarded furniture and other garbage dumped in an alley. Was it a stupid thing to do? Yes, but she had dared him because of his hubris and knew he would be a dork about it. He was unhurt, but he had gotten a massive lecture from his superhero partner.

She raised her eyebrows. "If you manage it, I'll give you free sweets for a month."

He made a choking sound like a cat with a hairball and gaped at her some more. "But... a week!? You... you gotta be _kitten_ me! That's... im- _paws_ -able!" He twitched his tail and kneaded her chaise cushions anxiously.

She tapped her foot on the floor and gave him a steady look. "Are you done?"

He drooped his ears. Ugh, his pun reflex fought with his love of sweets. If he were any other wealthy son of a successful businessman, he would have no problems getting all of the sweets he wanted. However, he was a model and kept away from sugar like it was the plague. The only treats he got were from Marinette - either when she brought boxes to share at school or when he came over like tonight and gave him leftovers from the day.

Free sweets for a whole month? She normally limited him after a few, but if she didn't stop him? Hmmm...

His competitive nature and sweet tooth outweighed his punning tongue. For the moment.

"Fine." He grumped and sat back on his haunches. "I won't pun fur a whole week." He grimaced. "Starting now." He smiled innocently at her. "Those croissants and macarons are as good as mine!"

Marinette gave him an affectionate smile that warmed his heart and removed some of the stress from his muscles. "Alright, Kitty. If you can't manage it..." she trailed off ominously, and he gulped. "No sweets for a month."

He whimpered but nodded, straightening to collect his dignity. His visits with her had gone from once in a blue moon to a few times a month recently. Their talks helped him relieve stress, and he felt comfortable confiding in her. She was kind and understood his stress of feeling overwhelmed with life even though he couldn't confide details. The sweets just made the visits better, but nobody made cookies and cake like her parents. Not munching on them would be heartbreaking.

"You can count on this cat, Princess." He stood then took her hand in his. He brushed his lips over the back of her knuckles. "No puns will grace this silver tongue for an entire week."

"I trust you," she murmured, making his heart leap. "So, I won't know if you make any puns as a civilian or off camera, but if I see one pun on the Ladyblog or the news..." she trailed off, and he nodded. 

"You can ca-..." he bit his tongue and corrected, "You can count on me."

She smiled and ruffled his hair at long last. "I know I can. Goodnight, Kitty."

"Sweet dreams," he murmured before springing from her room through the trapdoor. As he catapulted (she said nothing in regards to _thinking_ about puns!) across town towards his family mansion, he thought of how hanging out with her made her feel warm and... at home. Despite the looming house on the horizon had been the one he had grown up in and hardly left for fourteen years, his house didn't feel like a home. It was just the place where he ate, slept, and spent most of his time in.

A couple hours in Marinette's house had been friendlier and more comfortable to him than years in his father's house. He felt the warmth that had flared in his chest sputter out as he dropped though his window and detransformed back into Adrien. 

He got ready for bed, fed Plagg, then curled up under his covers, staring up at his darkened ceiling.

"You're gonna lose your mind, aren't you?" Plagg asked smugly somewhere to his left. "Not punning for you is like not breathing."

Adrien snorted. "I'll do it for her and make her proud." He rolled onto his stomach, the dying embers of warmth in his chest sputtering back to life at the thought of the sweet, smart, and stubbornly competitive girl that he considered his best friend. 

"Plus free food," Plagg chirped. "That never hurts. It's not like you'll find a trace of sugar in this prison."

A prison. That was a good way to describe his home life. When he wasn't doing his modeling or at school, he was stuck in this room. When he put on his suit and slipped through Marinette's trapdoor, he was surrounded by warmth and caring people. After getting over the awkwardness that occurred after saving Marinette from her akumatized father, her parents had invited him over for dinners whenever he had the time.

Sabine fussed over his physique and said he needed to eat while Tom tried to show him how to make sweets to feed to Ladybug and woo her. They were the kindest people he knew.

Yes, he would succeed and not fail the dare. His competitive personality, so rarely seen as Adrien but a highlight of Chat Noir's, was shining through. Plus, he couldn't wait to win and then spout enough puns to make Marinette regret her daring him.

This would be easy. This cat was in the bag.

~ *** ~

This dare was certainly not easy. It was the opposite of easy, and he was going crazy. This cat was very much not in the bag - in fact he kept tripping over his own tongue while trying to keep it contained.

At school, holding in puns wasn't so hard. He was quieter and more straightforward without his mask mostly because he had to uphold his father's image and behave.

However, when he was running around in the cat suit, refraining from punning was like struggling to not purr or flirt with Ladybug: it was just who he was. More than just a few times, he had to choke back on his words and not insert a pun into his speech.

Of course, Ladybug noticed.

One night just a few days after Marinette dared him to not say a single pun, Ladybug stopped short after asking him how he had been recently. He had almost said _"I'm purr-fect now that you're here with me, m'lady."_ but it came out more as, "I'm pu-... uh, I'm okay. How are you?" He sounded so dumb.

Ladybug quirked an eyebrow but patrolled in silence for a while before another conversation had her stopping him short and crossing her arms. "Chat, something's wrong. I haven't heard a pun out of you all night." She frowned thoughtfully. "I don't think I heard one during the akuma attack yesterday either." 

She walked up to him and felt his forehead. He automatically leaned into her touch and fought a soft purr in his throat from her gentle contact. He was still hopelessly crushing on her, but he had given her more distance lately with her having new responsibilities as Guardian and all.

"Are you sick?" his partner asked, blue eyes tenderly looking into his.

He snorted at that and flattened his ears in embarrassment. "N-No. Nothing like that. I er..." He fidgeted with his belt tail as it curled up in front of him. He kneaded it when he was nervous sometimes or twisted his miraculous around his finger when he was out of the suit. "Promise you won't make fun of me, m'lady. Pa-... Please?" That _paw-_ lease narrowly slipped off his tongue, but he yanked it back in and swallowed it.

Humor sparkled in her eyes, and Chat pouted at her.

"Alright!" She held up her hands. "I won't. I _paw-_ mise."

Ugh. She had to rub it in.

"So, I may have been dared by a friend to... to not pun for... for a week." He recoiled.

Ladybug bit down hard on her lip as her eyes widened with amusement. She fought not to laugh at him, and his little kitty feelings were hurt.

"M'lady! This isn't funny!" he cried. "I'm losing my me- my mind!"

"How long has it been?" Ladybug asked, crossing her arms and still smirking at him. "A day?"

He grumbled. "For your information, it's been three days!"

"And you look _meow_ -serable, minou," she said, her lips trembling with suppressed laughter.

Any other time, Chat Noir would be swooning and giggling over his lady's wordplay. He would even enjoy some word sparring with her late into the night.

Ugh, Marinette. She robbed him of some playful banter with his partner. He made a mental note to lay the puns on extra thick when he was free and munching on macarons.

Ladybug smiled and gently flicked his bell. "I'm sure you'll make it." She arched an eyebrow. "What did this 'friend' promise if you managed to refrain from your dorky puns for a week?"

He blushed and wrung his tail in his hands. "Um... free sweets for a month," he all but whispered. God, he sounded so stupid.

Ladybug smiled. "It sounds like she knows you well because if there's anything you like more than puns, minou, it's sweets."

Chat smiled as he felt that familiar warmth in his chest when thinking about Marinette and her friendship. "She does. She's been... helping me through a lot and... she's there for me."

His partner gave him a gentle smile. "If she helps you, then I'm grateful." She stretched. "Well, I hope you make it until the end of the week and get your sweets, minou." She reached for him, and he leaned over to let her ruffle his hair. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, m'lady."

As he went to bed that night, he was reinvigorated to hold back on the puns to not only get back at Marinette playfully for preventing him from having a pun war with his lady, but he wanted to prove he could handle a little dare. It was like a game almost to prove he could do it.

Smiling big at the thought of having a sweet tooth picnic with his lady to celebrate his winning the bet, Adrien feel into a comfortable sleep.

~***~

It was one of the most self-restraining weeks of his life, but he just made it.

At nine o'clock on the dot on Friday, Chat swung onto Marinette's balcony, his posture straight with triumph. He had gone an entire week without making a single pun: cat related or otherwise. He tapped on the trapdoor with his silver-toed boot then hopped back, his tail swishing with excitement behind him.

The door opened almost immediately and a bemused Marinette greeted him. "You look proud of yourself," she commented as he slipped in after her.

Chat Noir landed lightly on her floor then lounged across her chaise with his arms behind his head. His ankles crossed over one another as his belt tail swished lazily. He knew he looked like the Cheshire Cat with his self-satisfied grin. "Of course! I'm riding on _claw-_ oud nine, _Purr-_ incess because this cat is victorious!" He pumped his fists.

Marinette quirked an eyebrow, arms folded. For a second, she looked so much like Ladybug that his heart floundered before he recovered and straightened. "So, you went an entire week without punning? Not once?" she asked, sounding skeptical.

He felt the smile slip off his face like frosting drizzling off a hot cake. The grin is replaced by a pout. "Meow-ch, Princess!" He put a hand on his chest to add to his theatrics. "Your lack of faith in me... _hair-_ rts." He stumbled on that last one.

She raised her eyebrows and he mumbled, "Ya know - like hairballs... but that's... too long, so I shortened it."

"I think you broke your pun machine, Chaton," Marinette said with a sly grin. "Which is fine because you didn't go exactly a week without making a pun."

He spluttered. "Wait, what! That's... that's im-paws-ible! It's Friday!" He checked the screen on his baton. Yes, it was Friday. It had been a week! What was she going on ab-

"Yeah, but technically it's only been six days, twenty-three hours and..." she checked her watch, "fifty-five minutes." She giggled a little at his undoubtedly dumbstruck expression.

He collapsed face down on the chaise and groaned into the pillow.

Marinette's giggle made his tail twitch with irritation. "You're making fun of me," he mumbled into the pillow.

He felt her sit down at his side and a warm hand rubbed in between his shoulder blades comfortingly. "You almost made it, Kitty." Her words were soothing, but his super hearing detected some repressed amusement. Her hand on his back felt good, though, so the massage was like a balm on his hurt pride for losing a bet by just short of an hour. "No need to be... _hiss-_ terical."

Chat rolled over and looked up at her. "You're brutal, Princess. You even checked the time. Talk about _cat-_ culating."

Marinette giggled. "You forget I can be just as competitive as you, Kitty Cat. Of course I checked."

He gave her kitten eyes. "Can I get an A for effort, and we can call it even? I missed it on a perfectly good pun war with Ladybug this week because of the bet."

She smiled and stood up. "I guess we can do that." She walked over to her desk then came back with a tray of macarons. They were black with green frosting: chocolate and vanilla with special dye to match his coloring. His feline nose told him these weren't leftovers from today; she had made them recently for him.

Chat forgot his moping and sat bolt upright. He was sure he resembled one of those cartoon cats who floated along on a scent from yummy food. His eyes widened when he saw that she had even drawn little cat faces on the macarons with frosting. 

She was so cute.

And so were the macarons.

"These look absolutely divine!" he said eagerly. "Best _fur_ -end ever!"

Marinette rolled her eyes playfully. "It was fun while it lasted." She gave him the plate, and he scooted over so she could join him on the chaise and share the treats.

"I can tone it down with the puns if they're that annoying to you, Princess," Chat murmured as he popped a cat macaron into his mouth.

Marinette smiled as she nibbled on a cookie herself. "Nah. I can't ask you to change like that, Kitty. Puns, as cheesy as I and most of the world find them, are part of who you are. I can't ask you to stop punning if it's what you like to do."

He grinned at her. "For your sake, I'll put a _paws_ on the puns for the rest of the night."

She shook her head as he scooted closer to her, and together they shared the macarons as they talked comfortably with one another for a couple hours.

"Never change, Chat Noir," Marinette told him when they were both fighting yawns and heavy eyes.

Chat blinked at her, confused.

Marinette leaned up to press a gentle kiss to his cheek, and heat shot down his spine from the light contact. "You're a good person. Don't change just because people want you to. You're sweet and caring and a dork. Don't let that happy spark in your eyes fade to impress others, okay?"

She knew him. She didn't know his real name or what his entire face looked like, but she knew him. He came here to vent and release tension. Sabine, her mother, had given him a similar talk not too long ago when she noticed him easing up on food at meals and looking at... unhealthier options with a look a nerves. Both of them cared so much for him in a way that reminded him of his mother and contrasted starkly with his father.

His smile was wobbly as he blinked a little, his vision becoming a little blurred. "Okay, Marinette." Then, because he was feeling emotional and needed to shake off some of his melancholy, he smirked and murmured. "I won't change. I... _paw_ -mise."

Her eyes narrowed, but he sprang away before she could retaliate, his laughter echoing down several blocks.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I am now sick of cat puns, and I know I reused some. x'D  
> Sorry this took a couple of days. I'll try and post 1 one-shot per day in May, but I know already I'll bleed into June. Oh, well. It's Marichat. ♥
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated!


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